Monday, March 19, 2018

it's more than 'A Jeep Thing'

Well, if you've been following along on our Instagram stories, you know we lost a member of our family. my sidekick before Hawke or even Ric joined my family - Pearl. She was my 2007 Jeep Liberty.

She was so much more than a car. To me, she was the symbol of a fresh start. An action of moving forward. The acknowledgement - reinforcement - verification that I could do big things by myself.

I got Pearl two months after going through a divorce. I had to sell my Toyota Corolla from high school to get her. There were too many memories tied with that car, I needed to let go. It was an emotionally freeing time when I was able to say bye.

Our possessions hold so many memories. Songs and scents trigger memories, just as our possessions can. A jacket you wore to your favorite concert will always hold that energy. The smell of chocolate chip cookies your Mom baked for you after a bad day, will ignite those feelings of comfort and reinforce the feeling that she cares for you.

A car - it is our second home. It gets us everywhere we need to be. It keeps us safe when unfortunate weather is around us. It takes us on adventure, and brings us safely home.  My Corolla had so many good memories from high school and college life, yet there were some very dark, fearful and life threatening memories trumping those good ones - I couldn't be reminded of those, multiple times a day, when I was searching for healing. Just as when we are healing and we need to let the negative energy we are holding in, out. I needed to let this car of negative memories and energy go. 
The day I let the Corolla go, Pearl came into my life. She was my symbol of renewal. A step to taking my life back and proving to myself - figuratively and outwardly, that I could do things. I didn't need a man, per se.. I alone could find success. Pearl was refreshing with her stark white coat. She was comforting with her bumpy drive as any Jeep is. It was almost as if she was rhythmically patting me on the back, comforting me when I needed it. Yet symbolically reminding me that life has bumps in the road, but they don't stop us. We continue moving forward.

Pearl was the one, who carried me back to school as I began training in a dream career, that would bless my life in more ways that one. Respiratory Therapy was education on my disease - the 'behind the scenes' of what I didn't know as a patient. She's the one who carried me to my clinical rotation locations, where I could put my knowledge and skills into practice. Helping others who couldn't breathe, find that relief. Saving lives of babies in the NICU. Putting men, women and children on a ventilator to breathe, allowing their body time to heal to carry them to life again -- or peacefully move to on to the next. Because she carried me there, day after day, I was able to learn more life lessons than I thought manageable. More experiences that brought understanding and peace.

Pearl was the beauty who carried me across state lines to visit a long distance boyfriend. Who then became a fiancé and one day my husband.

Pearl drove our miracle baby boy home. I still remember the parking spot we where we installed his car seat for the first time. And where we were when he placed his precious five pound body in. Man, we were driving slow. I only wanted to sit right next to him. Ric and I cried on the drive home, happy tears.

Pearl moved our family and whole life across state lines. The opportunity for Dada to start his journey in building his career; that would provide food for his family, money to cover Mom's medical bills and the funds to provide a roof over our heads.

Oh hey, Lyndzi!

**disclaimer: I was/am completely mortified by our ghetto-licious moving technique. Ric was lucky I was in the hospital when he drove this or I would have absolutely made him do something different. Oh, well -  guess I reallu was the lucky one for not having to ride in it ;) And for the record NOBODY thought that trailer was going to survive the drive...except my stalwart husband who made it. He proved all of us wrong.

Pearl, you have been so much more than a car. You are family. You are beautiful memories. You were safety. You were happiness. Thank you for all you did to protect our family and be the means we needed to get places - literally and figuratively.

We love you and will always cherish our memories with you!

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